Santa's Story

It was a cold and frosty Christmas Eve, the sky was almost pitch black,
A cruel wind chilled the bones,as I filled my great big sack,
I hitched up the reindeer, the food and water stored,
It's time to leave lets go, and into the air we soared,
The stars were shining brightly, as we flew above the clouds,
Far away from little eyes, all wrapped in bedtime shrouds,
The clock had just struck midnight, it was time for my first drop,
I sneaked in through the window, I had no time to stop,
It was several drop later, I had a little drink,
Ate a couple of mince pies, washed down with sherry I think,
By the time I reached England, I'd had a few pints of Lager,
I was quite full of mince pies, and began to walk with a stagger,
I looked at the time,the numbers looked quite hazy,
It was a good thing I never spoke, as my voice would have sounded crazy,
I could see the sky was dawning, the clouds were glowing red,
My children had their presents, I would soon be home in bed,
I was left a bottle of good scotch whiskey,So I had a wee dram,
To keep the cold from my bones, so I had one for my Dad and Mam,
I arrived home put my reindeer away to rest,slipped and fell upon the ice,
And landed on my chest,
My eyes filled with water, as I cried out in such pain,
It's the spirit of Christmas, poor Santa's drunk again,
I staggered to my little bed, started counting all those mince pies,
I'd eaten far to many, just look at the fat on my thighs,
I must have passed out quietly, For the evening was dark and bare,
As I sai beside my fire, eating dough nuts without a care,
Some say Christmas is all about the giving, to those who are in need,
Sharing those precious moments with loved ones, or helping in some good deed,
But however you spend your Christmas,think of those who are on their own,
They have no one to talk too, perhaps nowhere to phone,
Don't forget about poor old Santa, who is now sitting up in bed,
With a glass of good scotch whiskey, nursing his chest and aching head,
It's not the drink that makes me stagger,it's the weight of all those mince pies,
I can't resist the pastry, it puts a sparkle in my eyes,
I've come to the end of my reading,it's time to make a toast,
May God Bless and keep you, for the children I love the most,
Just take one day at a time, and always wear a smile,
For nothing is too much trouble, when you go that extra mile.